Lies about love

Love is not what they tell you

Carlotta Cerri

Love is not walking hand in hand; love is holding hands when we're angry, to remind us who we are.

Love is not reading the person's mind; loving is helping the other by saying things clearly and directly, because we understand that partners who read between the lines only exist in movies.

Love is not about having sex every week; love is not doing it for a month and joking about it. In fact, maybe talking about sex is more important than having sex.

Love is not about changing for our partner; love is communicating clearly our evolution and our path so that our partner doesn't stay behind.

Love is not asking our partner to change for us; love is noticing their evolution and updating the image we have of them.

They tell us a lot of lies about love. Lies that create unhealthy expectations that made couples break up. Let's stop believing that our people should read our minds; that after many years together they should know what we need without us telling them; that if they love us they should change for us; that if we don't change for them it's because we don't love them (you can change only for yourself); that it's important to keep passion alive at all costs (it isn't, what's important is to talk about it!); that sex is the glue in a marriage…

These are lies we grow up with and imagine love by, but love is not what we see in movies or on social media. Often, it's not even what we see at home, especially if our parents hide emotions and arguments (which also creates unhealthy expectations: how can I recognise healthy love if I don't see it at home?).

Love is commitment and hard work. It would be much easier if we all told each other the truth.

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