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Let's not project our insecurities onto our kids

Carlotta Cerri

Long title, short story.

Emily asked me to go a dance class (we're now in New Zealand). I called the academy to ask the teacher if all the little girls wore the ballet outfit. She said yes.

My first instinct was to leave it. I thought Emily would just feel uncomfortable and "I don't want her to have a negative first experience".

I was about to send the teacher a message, but then I realized something. I was projecting my own insecurities and worries onto Emily. I was assuming she'd feel something that maybe she wouldn't feel. I was creating a scenario in my head without even talking to Emily first. I was "protecting" her from something she didn't protection from. And on top of that, I was caring about something that we, in our family, usually don't care about: appearance.

So I talked to Emily, “Emily, all the girls in the dance class wear a pink leotard and a pink tutu. We don’t have them, but you can wear different clothes. Do you wanna go anyway?”.

She didn’t hesitate, “Yes!”.

“Ok, let’s go choose your clothes! Ah, and you’ll have to go in by yourself, moms wait outside. Is that fine?”.

“Ok, mummy!”.

And just like that Emily today went to a ballet class and she didn't care at all about the outfit. Because she did a piroette and a plié and, above all, she had fun. We'll go back next Tuesday.

Ps. A year ago, we tried a kid dance class in Bangkok, but Emily didn’t want to stay. Back then she wasn’t ready, today she was. And my mind almost sabotaged the experience because of my own mummy worries. Almost. 😉🙌🏻

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