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I’ve been dishonest with you

Carlotta Cerri

On Saturday we went to a restaurant. We arrived at 13:28 and waited till 13:30, its opening time. When I went in, they asked me to wait outside (on a sidewalk near the street, with my two hungry toddlers) for five more minutes until they were ready. They were still in their normal clothes and mopping floors.

This is how my conversation with the waiter went:

“I thought the restaurant opened at 13:30”

“It does”

“Then I should be able to sit down because it’s 13:30 now”

“We still don’t have our shirts on and we’re finishing to mop the floors”

“I can see that. But if the restaurant opens at 13:30, you should mop at 13:15 and have your working outfit on by 13:30. You see, I like this restaurant, I’ll wait today and I‘ll come back another time, but somebody else might leave and you’ll lose a customer. It’s the ABC of business, really”.

My husband hates when I do this, maybe most people would. I could let go—of course I could—and wait the “five-minutes” of my everyday. But why on earth would I do that? Why wouldn’t I speak up when I’m unhappy with something?

In real life

I voice my opinions strongly.

In real life, I say what I think, no matter how unpopular it might be. No matter if people misinterpret, if conversations don’t resonate—sometimes you can’t speak butterfly to caterpillar.

In real life I don’t have filters or shame when expressing my own truth. I’m strong enough to own it. I don’t appreciate people who complain privately and smile publicly, and I let them know. I go against the flow and I’m brutally honest about it.

In real life I’m not afraid to be wrong—I have the intellectual capacity to accept when I am, and the humility to apologize. I evolve every day and every day I’m inspired also by what makes me feel judged and wrong.

On my blog

I hold back. I censor myself constantly.

What you read is me. But there’s another side to me and my writing that I need to start sharing.

I research and read a lot, I’m more educated than the average. My opinions are strong, often uncomfortable. But I voice them shyly. I’m afraid to disappoint you and lose you.

I (re)write articles over and over again, looking for that politically-correct angle, the right explanation, the guilt-free conscience, because I’m afraid I might step on your toes. I’m afraid someone might get hurt by my next level of unfiltered honesty.

But one of the things I learnt in 2018 is this: it’s not my responsibility to worry about how someone perceives my information, actions or words. It’s my responbility to tell my truth in the most respectful way I know.

From now on, that’s exactly what I’ll do on my blog, too. Just like I did in my Instragram account, I’ll remove the filters.

What do you think about that?

Would you like a more unfiltered, uncensored me? Would you get hurt if I wrote something that felt like a critique of your way of being, parenting, living? Or would it give you food for thoughts? Would it motivate you to evolve?

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