Don't leave them at school without saying bye: saying goodbye is a sign of love

Carlotta Cerri

«As soon as they turn around, leave».

«Leave when they're distracted».

«Don't say goobye ot they'll cry».


Leaving without saying goodbye teaches:

  • To grab your legs like a koala the next day
  • To never lose sight of you for fear of you abandoning them again
  • To fear abandonment
  • Not to trust you in the long term

Saying goodbay is a sign of love.

Saying goodbye builds trust.

Saying goodbye says: "I'll be back!".

Don't leave your child at the kindergarten without saying goodbye.

Some children don't cry. Some cry because they have a harder time separating from you. Some cry because they are not ready yet.

If you have to separate anyway, at least do it with respect.

When we leave our children at kindergarten without saying goodbye, we are the only ones who benefit from it, because we leave before they realize we are not there anymore and start crying.

Saying goodbye is a sign of love.

Some ideas to leave your children at kindergarten with respect: ⁣

  • Breathe, use a calm tone, control your emotions
  • Prepare them for what will happen with honesty and details, "We'll go by car, we'll say goodbye, then you'll stay there and I'll go to work, and then I'll come back for you". Start well in advance, talk about it calmly: "Do you remember what happens on Monday?".
  • Talk about the classmates and the teacher and try to remember their names together.
  • Park further away and walk 2 minutes to the kindergarten. Arrive early and enjoy the walk, observe what is around you… ⁣
  • Remind them you'll come back, repeat it several times. Offer concrete time references: "I'll be back to pick you up after lunch."

Find your own ritual: ⁣ Give a special high 5⁣ (learn it at home) / Leave a coin in their pocket⁣ / Sing the same song⁣ while in the car or walking / Exchange a bracelet⁣, a drawing, a coin... / Draw the same drawing on each other's arm, knee, hand (a heart, a star, a flower, something that's yours) ⁣

But above all, say goodbye. Even if it means that you'll have to go about your day with the image of them crying. Then smile, turn around and leave.

Saying goodbye is a sign of love.

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