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Being a mother also means…

Carlotta Cerri

A gorgeous picture from almost two years ago with a dear friend of mine

Lately, it’s been hard to keep everything going and on track—Oliver, his adapting in his new nursery, the house, my blog, my language business, my dance classes… only the pregnancy has an auto pilot!—and I really feel like I bit off more than I can chew.

So last Wednesday I had a major meltdown: after Oliver’s swimming class in the morning (it’s becoming more and more challenging to get in our bathing suits, do the lesson, shower and dress again in the heat of the spa where the swimming course is held), a quick lunch, blogging during Oliver’s nap, getting ready again, meeting a new student in the afternoon to introduce the teacher, going to the supermarket on our way home to buy nappies and some food—all with Oliver in tow, of course.

After all this—which is just an ordinary day, but lately even leaving the house feels like one of the labours of Hercules—my sweet little monkey decided to squeeze himself in between the lines of the shopping carts in the underground parking and thought it would be fun to play “catch me if you can” (and I clearly can’t with an eight-month pregnant belly!).

It took me 15 minutes and a FaceTime call to his dad to get him out of there, and when I finally managed to put him and the grocery bags in the car and sat behind the wheel, I burst into tears and couldn’t stop crying for at least two hours, all the way through dinner and Oliver’s bedtime routine.

The good news is, I woke up the next day feeling much better.

Probably meltdowns are just that, tear signals that your body has reached a limit, forcing you to slow down or even stop for a few minutes/hours/days, collect yourself and really listen to your inner self—the one that sometimes we try so hard to ignore to keep pretending we can cope with everything.

We can’t.

And it’s good to accept it—accept that being a mother also means to break down sometimes, to feel helpless, insecure, desperate, to let your emotions overcome your rationality, not to be able to have everything under control, to cry in front your children if you’re feeling sad and overwhelmed, to show you’re vulnerable and weak at times and that it’s OK to feel that way.

Because, yes, we mums are incredible humans, always willing to give ourselves a challenge when it comes to improving as role models for our kids, but as Jason Mraz puts it, we’re only humans.

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