Untitled

The responsibility of raising a grandchild abroad

Today, when walking back from the pool, I got a message from Alex. It was a Twitter link to this photo that is going around the web (see above). And it made me think about us parents abroad, living away from our extended families.

The problem with photos is that sometimes a memory captured through a lens does not become as vivid in our minds. Maybe it’s because we know we can “relive” it and we don’t pay as much attention as we would if it were a once-in-a-lifetime event. It’ll live on to future generations, but it’s "stolen" from the present ones.

“The problem with photos is that a memory through a lens does not become as vivid in our minds”

Tweet !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0],p=/^http:/.test(d.location)?'http':'https';if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src=p+'://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js';fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document, 'script', 'twitter-wjs');<p>I felt a profound peacefulness when I saw this lady in the chaos of people and technology. It must feel good to be in the first row (of life?), arms crossed, shoulders relaxed and enjoy — truly enjoy — the moment. Way better than being there on your tip toes reaching as high as possible with your phone while bending your neck backwards to see the screen. This lady doesn’t feel any social responsibility towards the future generations, family, friends, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, the world. It’s just her and the memory that will generate in her mind. </p><p>I miss it. I haven’t always been addicted to videos and photos. I developed this sort of addiction in the last ten years away from my family and old friends. When Oliver arrived, it only got worse: if I don’t post pictures for more than two days, requests start pouring in. </p><p>Truth is, I don’t always feel like taking pictures and videos. Very often, I’d rather just sit back, enjoy the moment, and archive it in my mind more than on my iPhone. </p><p>But then I think about my parents, my sister, my family; of how happy a picture — even half-heartedly taken — would make them. And I make an effort, like every expat mum would do. Not only for the family that I left behind, not only because my mum and dad are grandparents of 6-month-old Oliver just once in their lifetime. But also for Oliver, to one day sit with him and tell him “This is when you met grandma and grandpa for the first time” or “this is when auntie Cri held you for hours while singing to you”. </p><p>And yes, in my attempt to live more in the real world and less in the virtual one, and detox from technology, there are plenty of moments when I reach for my iPhone, but then stop and say to myself, “Just enjoy the moment now, you’ll take a picture next time”. But for every one of these moments, there’s another one when I make the effort, take a photo and post it to the family album.</p><p>Because after all, it’s a small price to pay to make important people in my life happy. </p><p> </p><p style="text-align:center">Mums abroad or in your own country, have you ever felt this way? If so, share it in a comment. And if you liked it, please click the heart or share it :-)
You can do all of this here. </p>