Thank you, Greta, for this lovely, artistic photo :-)
Today I’m starting a new column on La Tela. I noticed there are so many mums that have something interesting to say, who want to say something, who like writing but just don’t do it, who would take the chance of being featured on a blog at the drop of a hat. These column is for all those mums, Team Mama. If you’re one of them, please write at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Today’s post was written by Greta, a lovely first-time German mum of a gorgeous boy.
When facts change… (Post by Greta)
Life is continuous change. It appears to be the only constant factor in mine, at least. I have lived many changes. The most recent being becoming a mother. And so, after my first year of being a novice in this field has passed and I am slowly starting to find a bit of ground under my feet, Carlotta has kindly offered me the opportunity to share some of my experiences and reflections with you.
Firstly, let me tell you that I have an amazing son who is now 14 months old, beautiful on the inside and on the outside, who makes me and his daddy incredibly proud.
This very same amazing little human being has also put me through an interesting experiment; What happens if you are sleep deprived for 14 months? Well, the ongoing absence of sleep does interesting things to you. In my case, it turns me into a biting zombie on some days and into a mushy, needy, crying little girl on others.
Naturally, from where I stand, this feels rather logical to me and sharing it with people should feel liberating. You tell them what you’re going through and everyone just backs off and admires you for this gigantic effort. NO! That is not what happens when you are a new mum. Everyone has got something to say, some advice to give to you. Don’t they understand that this is the last thing you need!?! Aren’t they aware of the fact that there can be too much of a good thing!?! And has no one ever told them that zombies bite!?!
I have this friend, one of my best friends, mother to two gorgeous kids, who’s trying her best to support me. And she does that by continuously giving me—you guessed it—her advice!A few days back, after I complained about missing moments with my man, she kindly gave me her advice again. With best intentions, of course. This included things like; why am I still breastfeeding; wasn’t I going to stop after one year; why can’t I just make my life easy; people are feeling sorry for me; and—the best of all—maybe I wasn’t ready to be a mum.
I felt cornered and hurt. This is what one of my best friends thinks of me?
It made me think. What you do when the facts change, when your life, your ideas, your world changes to a point that alienates your best friends? Do you try? Are you able to not only see your own shortcomings, but elevate them to the point where you allow a friendship to be built on ignorance?
Or do you actually allow yourself to change your mind about friends, family, life and most of all about yourself, about who you used to be to welcome your new you. You who is now a mum, different from any other mum; you who wants to know, but needs to see for yourself; who doesn’t give a damn about easy, but all about right; who redefines friendships, who builds on the basis of acceptance and knowledge.
I’m thinking I might just allow for that change of mind. And I might just say “Until another time, my dear, dear friend”.
If you want to share your thoughts, write at email@example.com Anonymous or not, you decide :-)