Last night on my way home from my dance class I was thinking how much I’ve grown in the past ten years. How hard I’ve worked to get where I am today—which might not be very far, but it makes me happy. How much life, professional and sentimental experience I put under my belt.
Today I was going to write a thoughtful post about my 30th birthday.
I was going to write how my 29th birthday was the last one that felt all about me—since I became a mother, both the “all” and the “about me” parts of that sentence have disappeared.
I was going to write that I like round numbers because they feel like an end and a beginning at the same time. It’s like the glass half full or half empty: it’s actually both, it depends on how you look at it.
I was going to write how overwhelmingly happy it makes me to celebrate my firth birthday with Oliver.
Instead, last night made me feel like writing what I learnt in these past 30 years—about life, friendships, relationships, and myself. And I’ll make it “all about me”, not Oliver, not Alex, not friends, just me. Happy birthday, Carlotta!
These are 30 things I learnt in the past 30 years—although most of them in the last 10.
- I can be the best version of myself, but there will always be somebody who doesn’t like me. And I’m very, very OK with that. I most likely wouldn’t like them either.
- In a relationship, if there's no communication there's absolutely nothing. Alex and I have our ups and downs, but I'm so proud of what we have achieved as a couple. Thanks my love, you really make me a better me (most of the times ;-)
- Creating a business out of nothing: check! Now that I've done it once, I know I could do it a million times and always succeed. I’ll cheer to that!
- Women should really stop thinking that men read their minds. If you want your husband to do or not to do something, tell him. If you don't say, don't complain.
- Not everyday I like the person I am, but everyday I work very hard to be a person I like.
- I don't need to—pretend to—like everybody and spend time with people who don't matter to me. So I just don't.
- Oliver is by far the best thing I've done in my life. And I did it really really well!
- Death is something we should all talk about sometimes. It's so important to sit and think about our life's worst case scenarios. You never know.
- You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them backwards. I can never thank Steve Jobs enough for giving me this mantra.
- Stress is a mean beast and affects every aspect of your physical, mental and social health. In my next ten years I’d like to find a cure for it and stop letting it take over me.
- I don’t believe in God anymore and now even the worst pain in the world will make me. I just don’t. (This will be one of my next reads)
- I’ll always be an emotional being, but nowadays rationality often takes over. And I like it.
- I have a love/hate relationship with arguments. Sometimes it just feels good to let it all out and yell. Other times I wish I could skip scene and go to the part where everybody's happy.
- Passion is not something you find, it’s something you create.
- I’m beautiful. I should never ever ever complain about the way I look—if I do, hit my hand with a stick please (except for you, Alex, you have to stand it ;-)
- Some relationships just never fade, no matter how far and different you are. Cri and Mic, I’m talking about you.
- People can change (and who loves you will change for you, like you for them). But only if we can accept them the way they are, we truly love them.
- I have a very bad relationship with money. Which causes lots of stress. Which I have to find a cure for.
- Questioning things is a great skill. Not questioning things is also a very good skill.
- Not everybody deserves the benefit of the doubt and you shouldn't give it to everybody.
- Mens sana in corpore sano. When I exercise and eat healthy, I feel healthy and it makes all the difference. (Possible cure for stress?)
- I hate watching/reading news. They are aways negative and tell just half the story anyway.
- Ideas are worth nothing. If you don't work hard to implement them, it's as if you never had them.
- I have few close friends, and I'm very loyal to them. I will tell you when I think you're wrong, but I'll always be on your side. (And thanks, Marisa, for being the same way!)
- I’m frugal if I have to be, but I absolutely hate it. I love eating out, great products, good quality, and giving amazing gifts (also to myself). None of that is cheap.
- It's so hard to stop biting my nails! Please hit my hand with a stick if you see me do it.
- I used to tell lies easily. I stopped when I understood how much I hate people lying to me, and how easy it is to spot them. Don't lie to me.
- I really really hate cooking and shopping and at this point it's unlikely to change.
- I really really really love writing and at this point it's unlikely to change. I should seriously do something about it. Oh wait, I am—my little La Tela di Carlotta is growing and growing. I'll cheer to that, too!
- Sooooo many more things. But hey, I said 30 so today this is all you get ;-) Starting now, La Tela is officially on birthday break until next week. Have a lovely weekend!