We try to avoid labels, positive or negative. Describing our children with words like lazy, funny, stubborn, always happy… labels them and creates an image of themselves in their head.
“You’re so lazy”: the child thinks “I’m a lazy person” and doesn’t make an effort, even is they wanted to.
“You’re so funny”: the child thinks “I’m a funny person” and tries so hard to meet that expectation, despite their mood.
When I catch myself say “You’re so…” I finish the sentence with… their name.
So whether Emily says something funny or doesn’t want to walk, I say “you’re so Emily!”.
What are the labels you want to try and avoid?