A mother wrote to me: “My psychologist says it's my fault that I don't ask”.
1. Asking for help is hard. It takes practice, start today: ask your partner to do something you’d normally do.
2. It’s not fault: it's a mental construct of the society we grew up in. It’s not your fault, but it’s your responsibility to change that construct in your mind.
Ps. Let’s start with the dialogue with ourselves: change “It’s my fault if I do not…” (negative sentence) into “It’s my responsibility to…” (positive sentence). And don’t let people say it’s your fault, not even professionals. It’s often not even true.