Once a salsa teacher told me: “On the dance floor there are always three people: you, your partner and the music”.
Well, I think it’s the same in a relationship: it’s myself, Alex and the relationship. Me, him and us.
That’s three separate entities that have completely different needs and that need to be fed in a completely different way.
What the individual needs often doesn’t coincide with what the relationship needs, but if we continue to nurture the individuals yet fed the relationship only with “leftovers”… well, how do we expect the relationship to survive, let alone thrive?
The relationship is like the music: we must listen to it to find the perfect flow.
But also feeding only the relationship and giving the leftovers to the individuals doesn’t work. Like when you only listen to the music and forget you’re actually dancing with a partner.
How do you best feed a relationship? How do you find a balance?