Updating to a new version of me

The other day Alex got some news that will change our plans. Maybe for the worse, now. Maybe for the better, in the future. Maybe neither bad nor good, just different.

It’s hard because we just made a hard decision. And this one goes against that one, almost like pressing the Undo button.

I cried, going through all the things that I don’t like about this decision. Not because I don’t see its potential, but because I see (and want to flee) the hardships.

I breathed, had breakfast, and reflected.

Then I wrote down a list of all the things that need to happen in order to make this change: it included feelings, priorities, needs, options, even some solutions. I wrote not without frustration, but defintiely with the clarity of someone who’s not afraid to change, who knows herself outside of her comfort zone, who’s been in and out her dark caves to find her life treasures. With clarity.

I don't know what's coming, but I know I will in a few days. In the meantime, I wait. Clarity also means learning to stay still in front of the unknown.

There it is, a new version of me. Updating…